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Just Don't Do It: What NOT to do as a guest [or non-guest] of a wedding!

Many of you may not know this, but along with bad grammar, I do have another category that encompasses a large number of pet peeves for me (that made sense in my head). Weddings ! Below follows the list of things that you as a guest- or non-guest of a wedding should not do! Be careful... chances are I will step on some toes with this note!... and yes you should be embarrassed. First and foremost: Know that only those listed on the invitation that you receive are invited .  There is a lot of work that goes into addressing [proper] wedding invitations. Most are hand-written either by the bride/groom, the bride's friend(s), or a really expensive calligrapher. The names that they put on the envelope were very intentional. Simply put, if the invitation says Miss Juanita Hancock, then only Juanita should show up. If it says Miss Juanita Hancock and guest then fine, bring a date, otherwise fly solo. Just know that by you being selfish and deciding to bring someone who was not invited wi
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Only the Bare Necessities

While reviewing my finances yesterday, I realized that I should have a lot more money saved than I do. I wondered where all of my money goes. Of course, I have to pay for things like the mortgage, lights, phones, cable, etc, but where was the rest of it?  I know, I spend it!  In order to bring me back to a point of grace with my finances, I am going to go on a spending hiatus.  While showering this morning, I remembered that a middle/high school buddy of mine did something like this a year or so ago, and I thought she was crazy to say the least! How can you do that? How can you not.buy.anything!! Well needless to say crazy saved her a ton of money.  So today when I got to work, after eating the breakfast and lunch that I brought from home, I hit her up on GChat to ask for the guidelines.  I could only spend money on things that would keep me (1) not starving; (2) clean; and (3) not naked i.e. if I really didn't NEED it, I couldn't buy it. Well that seems  simple enough,

THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG v2

So I watched The Princess and the Frog again, this time with my laptop in hand, as I sat on my sofa. It proved to be a great idea because I was able to capture all of the new things that I noticed in this movie, that really translate into how real life relationship should/do work.   The first time I watched this, it immediately touched me on a personal level. The lead character's dedication to cooking, and her relationship with her father, it truly hit home, and maybe that personal connection is what led me to read so much into Disney's newest true to form full-length animation feature.   The first thing that stood out to me about Naveen and Tiana's relationship in its earliest stage (before it ever existed) was that they immediately began to take a journey together, two people (or frogs in this case) who barely knew each other and who hand no expectations beyond getting back home. On this journey, though both had been put in each other's space neither one o

Being Independent Does Not Mean that We Don't Still Need Our Men

I've noticed a trend over the past few months, though I'm sure it's gone on longer than that, regarding the plight of the independent woman in a relationship, and how she and her independence can make her man or any man feel unneeded. Like I've always said, I will be the first to admit that I do not know anything about boys and girls, but this is my take on it. In our society, so many seem to quantify necessity based on an ability to financially sustain a partner, family, or lifestyle. When really, we need to take a step back and realize that needs go far beyond and are far greater than who is or can pay for what. I'm not taking to task anyone, male or female, but I'd like to use a very personal story to illustrate how what a (n independent) woman needs from her man. MY STORY For all intent and purposes, one could label me an independent woman. I won't go into the list of things that I have/do that qualifies me as such because that is silly. I have alwa

And there shall be a great cry unlike one that's ever been heard before...

And there shall be a great cry unlike one that's ever been heard before... And it shall be the cry of Black American boy babies... Yes, I am calling for a cry similar to Pharoah's of the Egyptian babies... only in the reverse. Earlier today, a friend of mine sent me an article from ABC News entitled "Why are There So Many Single Black Females?"  and after reading it I realized that I am truly not alone, and the question that my sister's boyfriend asked of me months ago holds true for so many: if the statistics in this article are correct, then at  least one in twelve. You are you have money, you can cook, you are fun, and you actually like sports; why don't you have a man? This article uses the same old black women outnumber men, and the men that are available (meaning the ones that are not in jail or undereducated -- as in no high school diploma-- or unemployed) are either dating and marrying white women or are playing the field because why should he

On Another Note: I am a Dude

This list will grow I'm sure but for starters... 1. I buy apologies because I don't know how to apologize any other way: I bitched out these people at 24 hour fitness... realized I was wrong and bought them gifts as an apology.  I felt like Ike Turner buying Tina the gift after he beat the crap out of her. I was washing a this dude's hair once after his weekly haircut (don't ask there is no story here) and I accidently turned the cold water off before the hot... eventually scolding his head.  I felt terrible but since I didn't know what else to do I left immediately and bought him a video game (I was already planning on getting it but I expedited the purchase in attempts to make it my apology).  I hear a female would have stayed and "nursed" it but well... I haven't been to nursing school. 2. If I have to pick between DSW and Best Buy... I chose the latter (and I have the gamers package on my silver status reward zone membership to prove it).

My Reassurance and Disturbance

Today and over the past few days and weeks I have found reassurance in one thing.... I am not alone.  I have spent the past few weeks observing, and obviously consumed with my own situation, I didn't give enough thought to what I was seeing in others. What I have discovered though is one truth: one person cannot love enough for the two. It. Will. Never. Work.  Those of you who have read my blog know there is this guy.  He has been here. He has gone. He has returned, and my heart transitioned every time he made a move, but inevitably every time the bottle of sand and water was shaken, the sand always settled back to love. But THANKFULLY today is not about me. It's not about him. It's most definitely not about us.  It's about every one else. I can think of many couples upon immediate recollection where one person is doing the loving. One person is doing the catering. One person is doing the work, and I believe that is because at some point along the way (as I had