Truth Is Ordinary People Can't Wait

Ahh the time has come for a change in the year. I don't know why but New Year's brings such a calm peace to me it's really quite surreal... New Year's is a chance for me to look back and make realizations about what this past year has brought me: I realized that this year my salary is about $9000 more than it was just two years ago. This year I went from an intern, to an assistant, to an administrator/ facilitator. I STARTED THIS BLOG! How surreal is it that looking back, I realize that I saw him only once this year.... just once . And I'm okay with that. I found happiness this year. I found happiness with myself, and my happiness resides in my hands, not the hands of my friends, not of my family, and not of a significant other. I have gone a whole year without seeing or speaking to Justin. My friend Desiree has moved to DC. I discovered Facebook.com 2005 brought me a new godson. I actually active in a church again -- I don't just go anymore. I've been home...

taken for granted until taken away seperated by distance land, water, wind, and trees never appreciated until love less tangible pains the heart spirit, soul, being, and tears finally understood when the longing to touch and to be touched goes unfulfilled while the tangible love of the past scoffs at the pain sadness, desire, frustration, and regret of your future Krystal Danielle Carter

I wrote this one day about five years ago, and submitted it to Poetry.com. Apparently, it appears in one of their compilation books... Today as I was leaving school I saw a bird Sitting on a broom eyes closed and wings gently tucked It had been hit by something unexpected It bleed a lot When I saw it it was in a process of either healing or dying And when I saw it I thought "how awesome is this?" When you get hit you need a time to heal, when you get hit you need a time to die, a concept so simple that even the bird comprehends so why don't we?

An article that I just read " Family Welcomes Baby No. 17 ", has with just cause placed me high upon my soapbox today. This article was a lifestyles piece on the Largest Family in America. Basically two imigrants, since moving to America seven years ago with their eleven children, still do not speak English [the parents nor the kids]. Since they have been here, they have had six more kids. This, for those of you who aren't too quick with the math, means that they have SEVENTEEN biological kids. Now as disgusted as it makes me to imagine spending over 136 months or 11.33 years of my life pregnant, some women may find it to be a wonderful gift from God. Yes, it is amazing that one woman could carry 17 kids through 17 different pregnancies-- I'd never do it, but I shall not discredit it's wonderous nature. So all of these kids could be a beautiful thing. Those of you who know me, know exactly what I am about to say next. There are TWO MAJOR problems with this story....

So if you could live anywhere where would it be? That's all I've got for you today.... I'm looking for geographic answer... My answer ... I'd visit all over, but at the end of the day, I'd end up here in good ole Houston, Tx. It's a place where I can raise my kids [that I never plan on having], and teach them good ole' Texas conservative values! --G, I know you'll love that, more people on this earth who think like me!

I can't figure out why for the life of me, when my life is going so well, a dude decides to pop up and try to eff it up. But today is a new day. A day when I will not let anyone "eff up my high." So I met this dude; his name is Andrew. His name alone was almost enough for me to cancel him out of a potential dating pool [well that and the fact that I do try very hard to keep my dating pool very empty]. Had my sister not been with me in the Nextel store, I would not even known he was "flirting" with me. I've always been so oblivious. Well, he'd given me his card and kept repeating that his mobile number was on there. I just thought "Okay." Apparently that was some hint that he wanted me to call him. Well I don't call random dudes, especially random dudes named Andrew [and if any of you close to me think about that for a minute or two you totally understand why]. Like I said, I don't call random dudes, but I am not above text messaging an...

Yes. I have been MIA for a little bit, but with good cause. I have one really huge development coming up, but I won't go into detail about it with blogland at least until February. I'm buying a horse! Some of my family came in from out of town for the holidays, and one of my uncles owns a ranch and some horses. We all decided to take the Californian side of the family horseback riding: we had to show them how we Texans do it. Ha! I am a Texan, and every time I have ever ridden a horse I'd been petrified! Not yesterday. I started learning to ride it, and I feel in love with it. Horses are beautiful animals. They are strong. They are fierce. They are soft. All in one package. So I dismounted for the 4th time and told my uncle that's it time to get me one. He's gonna go look for one for me, and hopefully I'll have him for my birthday. Initially, when I told him I wanted a horse he didn't belive me. I think he started believing me when I went to the bank and to...

My ex-bestfriend had her baby [for real this time]! Be proud of me; I even went to visit her in the hospital, and took a few gifts. I mean, once upon a time, our friendship was worth a hundred bucks in baby products. What was weird, was during that entire hospital visit [which lasted all of maybe 7 minutes], it all seemed quite void. It was void of the magical kinship that I sometimes though would surface, should we ever run into each other again. There was no room for nostalgia. She's forging a new life, one that I do not even feel sad that I'm missing. I don't say that to sound cruel, but it is what it is. How do you not miss something like the friendship that was had? Maybe it's just another one of those things that I will never understand, but have no problem accepting. I guess it's just like reading... then finishing a chapter of a book. No regrets. Just moving forward.

I'd move to New York. Maybe I smiled a little more. Maybe I actually flirted [didn't even know I knew how to do it. Maybe it was just that they didn't know me. They didn't know the workaholic, the anal retentive control freak who feels like if I can't control it logically, then I don't want to be involved. Maybe I was giving off the scent of a woman in heat or something, whatever it was, the boys were bitting. The Russian. The dude in Stamford. The dude in Greenwich [yeah, maybe it's a sister thing]. The dude at the bar in my hotel. The dude in Times Square off 47th street. And the taxi driver . I don't think I've had that many bites, like real follow-throughs [actually calling to meet up that same night for drinks], in one week in my life. I met up with one of my high school friends; when she opened the door and saw me, the first thing she said was, "You look so good! You look happy." The first words out of my mouth [without me even think...

Stays in New York. That's all I'm saying.

Can you see it? My hand... it's raised... can you see it? Oh the great perks of working in corporate America. Sometimes it's sad to think, teachers, the people who are responsible for our education affording us the opportunity to join the corporate world, do not get to enjoy the simple pleasures that we corporate folk do. I'm still in NYC, and will be here until Friday or Saturday. I called My Superman (I'm his Moviestar ) who now resides in NYC to see if he wanted to meet up and see a show on Broadway while I'm here. The great part is that I get to expense like everything... our pre-play dinner, our Broadway tickets, the amazing maragritas that I have here at the hotel daily [they are the best I've ever tasted, but the bartender told me he learned how to make them while living in Texas], the $18.10 Swiss Cheeseburger, dinner with a friend of mine from Hampton, the taxi rides I started taking because one day of the subway is just about all I am willing to han...

So I am out of town on business. I arrived in New York on Sunday night for an Administrator's workshop for our new CRM Program. As I am now responsible for this new [awesome] program, training, setting best practices companywide, and solving user issues, my superior thought it would be best for me to spend my 5-day week here in the Big City. Day one was an arduous one. Let me just say that my credit card was stolen in Houston one business day before I was supposed to leave...can you say nightmare ? Have you ever tried traveling with a temporary ATM card?!?! I didn't even know they still made ATM cards w/o a Visa/Mastercard logo. Well here are the down sides... You can't swipe one of these wreched cards at any terminal. You have to carry cash to buy anything [cash is dirty... I've seen where they put some of those nasty $1 bills] You can't put a hold on your temporary atm card for a hotel room because they can't swipe it! Lastly, there is a daily cash maximum ...

Being in the church, it's so hard to belive when you see the corruption of those who stand right in the pulpit. It's also hard when you go home with those who stand in the pulpit or in leadership and see what you think is the bride of Satan himself. I had such a hard time with faith until I moved out of my parents house. I stopped going to church, and just breathed . I never really leaned towards atheism, but I did lean toward a diest belief that God made the world and all in it, and left it to run naturally, without any interference. I guess to a certain extent I still believe that, but not I do feel God is more real in my life, because I stopped looking at the God of my parents, but the god with whom I began to forge a relationship personally. The God I read about for myself in my own Bible. I am not sure if he interacts, but since I began attending Lakewood Church two years ago, I have found more peace in starting my day with God. Today was a terrible day for me, and this w...

It took me a long while to be blunt about many things. Well, I finally learned. And look at where it's gotten me. In some respects it's freed me, but in those same respects, I have always been blunt. In others, the hard one, it's gotten me no where but in a deep pool of having said too much, and having been too honest, and still ending up empty-handed.

Those of you who are my loyal readers, and those of you who are my devoute friends you knew I couldn't let this day go by without noting it. It is quite frankly the closest I'll ever come to having a six year anniversary [since I'm never getting married and all]. This was the day, it all started so long ago. The day that would cuz heartache for at least the next six years. I feel like a sick effin puppy. Maybe one day in the future, when I feel like I can detach my emotions from the story, I'll actually sit down in the style of Kim , and tell you the story from beginning to lingering end.

This excerpt is the conversation between my brother-in-law and his boss.... I knew he was a crackhead! mike: "what are you doing tomorrow night" dave: "tuesday... let me check... nothing, what scary chore do you have for me?" mike: "how about going to the world series " dave: "woa. yes! wow. thank you." dave: "can you get my wife in there?" mike: "let me check, I'm about to pick up the tickets now. I''ve given the others away though" calls him back mike: "I have six tickets and have commited the five, unfortunately I can't get Aisha in" dave: "I know this will sound like I'm on drugs, but I'll be either be glued to the TV with my wife or sitting in the stands with her." mike: "I totally understand. I hope your wife knows the amazing man she has." :) Yes, I think she does. My sister's response to her husband telling her this story... You ARE on drugs. GO TO THE GAME...

Some people say that I have been assimilated into white culture because of the many ethnic things that I do not do. My speech is more proper than most black twenty-somethings, and I listen to country music [Yes I do thank you! Tim McGraw is the man!]. I do not dispute these facts, but I must say that I do not intentionally try to avoid black heritage, as much as I shy from ghettoisms that seem to infultrate our society, and carry myself in such a way that the stereotypes seem out of place for me. Why I felt that the previous paragraph was a necessary preface to this post, I am not sure. However, I must say, that no matter how assimilated one seems to think I have become to White America, there are still somethings that I cannot avoid [not like I try to avoid sed others]. I still have BLACK HAIR. A little history lesson, everyone in my family line for at least the past two generations [inclusive of my grandparents and my parents] have been black; when I say family line I am referr...

In the style of Areyl, I decided I would list for you my posts which seem to have been the post popular among the readers of TIOPCW.... so here you go! Bringing up the rear in 4th place, I have 3 post which each received 6 comments: In Loving Memory of a Great Kid Before I'm 50 I'll ____________ and my favorite of the bunch... God, so you wanted me to test out Womanhood... here are the defects In 3rd place with a whopping 7 comments we have: No Love Live = Death? No Way In 2nd place, and probably my all time favorite: Juniors and "The Seconds" NOT IN MY HOUSE! And in 1st place, and I should almost feel bad for highlighting this one, but who cares! Is probably the most emotional one for me to date... although if you read the comments you'll get to see what makes an already emotional piece just flat out humiliating.... but damn if it wasn't some of my best writing ever thank you for that... Number One All Time Favorite Among My Readers: UNTITLED

...that it has been almost an entire month since I have written anything worth reading. It's not that I don't have anything to write. It's just that I've have too much to write; I can't even gather all of my thoughts. Topics that randomly float through my head: Evacuating Houston...Worse than Hell Would I ever Evac again Puking more than any one human should in her lifetime twice Running from the Runs How a 6 hour ride becomes a 15 hour sojourn filled with vomit and stomach frills Why I love the government We're in the Money Now Writing incoherent emails, not because you're drunk, but because you're sleepy Being a volleyball Sister-mom because the kid's parents are deployed Being the only female in an office of 20 guys My Godson Shat In Your Hands! Don't click the "how do i look" IM link in AOL or your are asking for it!! Picking the perfect Names for your Breasts I've had tons to say, and...

I had to remove the last post because Trashley did not approve... so I'm no longer Inadequate...

This is another entry that must be typed with my eyes closed, and my heart wide open. I have a hard time always speaking the truth when I feel myself in a conscious state of mind, but with my eyes closed, I can tell my fingers that whatever they produce is nothing more than a dream. I have reasoned myself out of marriage, and love, and children on occasion. I have discovered the best possible reasons to go without all three. They all make perfect sense. They truely do, but for some reason my heart is not following suit. While my heart does not tug at the idea of marriage, it will not allow me to escape love. The fact that I know that love is more hurtful to me, because of whom I love, and that I can't make myself stop, makes me feel inadequate . I can't control my thoughts, the things that tug at that emotional side of me that I still arduously try to surpress, I can't control the repetition of one name and its daily exsistence in my life, and that makes me feel inadequate ...

I recently had a rather huge confontation with a friend of mine over some major trust issues. This happened a few days ago, but I decided to wait to write this for two reasons: I wanted to calm down and not write this while I was furious I wanted to make sure I had my package in hand, just in case he read this and decided to do something stupid. Hey some people are crazy. The Story My boss recently purchased a new laptop for me, for business uses. I already owned my own personal laptop, thusly leaving me with two laptops [three computers total since I have a desktop as well]. Needless to say, many of my friends asked me for my personal laptop since I was getting a new one. Even my father [the most computer shy person I know asked for it]. I told them all no. However, there was one friend who persisted: from June until August he wouldn't let the fact that I had two laptops rest. He asked repeatedly for me to trade my fairly new personal laptop for his not-so-new laptop...

As I was minding my business, and just as I thought that May 13th would be the last I'd ever heard from Mr. 26 , I get a phone call while driving the company car around the city doing some little ish. The conversation as it transpires... roughly. "Can I talk to Krystal?" "Um this is she." "Oh my god. I'm so glad you answered. I've been looking for your number for months. Man, I've been looking for your number forever" "Um okay. It's good you found it then." "Yeah so how have you been? I've been thinking about you for months" "I'm well but may I ask with whom it is I am speaking?" "Hunh?" "Who is this?" "Oh it's (insert his name that begins with a J here) from the parking lot at your old job." akward pause as i am trying very hard not to sound like aw shit i thought i was rid of you "Oh hi. Well , I'm on another call so I'll have to call you later...

This entire post was typed with my eyes closed, so please excuse any typos. I feel the need to preface this post by saying that I am not a mean and hateful person. I do not bask in the misfortunes of others; I have a deep saddness for those who have been displaced by hurricane Katrina. There are two types of people: Feelers -- these people tend to go with the gut instinct. They allow emotions to play a major role in their decision making. Often feelers' actions are motivated by instinctual urges. and Thinkers -- these people tend to think and go with [hopefully well-thought] strategies. In instances of turmoil, they take a minute to say let's look at this long term. What decisions right now will workout best in the long run? No matter what the instance is they tend to put aside their emotions in order to make decisions that are as realistic as possible. Having said all of that, I believe many Texans are truly concerned, as am I, about the effects of housing more than 23...

Insomnia Fun Stolen from Karaoke Diva and legalchick Rules: Copy, paste, and bold the ones that you’ve done. 01. Buy everyone in the bar a drink 02. Swim with wild dolphins 03. Climb a mountain 04. Take a Ferrari for a test drive 05. See the Pyramids at night 06. Hold a tarantula 07. Take a candlelit bath with someone -- sans candles one of the greatest days of my early 20s until... 08. Say ‘I love you’ and mean it 09. Hug a tree 10. Do a striptease 11. Do a bungee or parachute jump 12. Visit Paris 13. Watch a lightning storm at sea 14. Clean behind the fridge 15. Stay up all night long, and watch the sun rise. 16. Ask a question you’ve always been too embarrassed to ask. 17. See the Northern Lights 18. Go to a huge sports game 19. Create your own masterpiece 20. Grow and eat your own vegetables. 21. Touch an iceberg 22. Had an office relationship -- does having an office stalker count? 23. Sleep under the stars 24. Compromise 25. Change a baby’s diaper 26. Take a trip in a hot air ba...

There were " Untitled ", " 26 Things I Hated About Him ", and the " The New Guy ". With whom the hell else will the gods find to curse me?!?! Just leave me alone -- I'm happy that way! So a long time ago I posted "The New Guy." That was probably around February something or other. A friend had introduced me to this guy, who I thought was surprisingly everything that I thought was pretty great. Naturally, this made me quite skeptical of him, because I know that there is always a catch. Well, that era has ended; I thought it had ended months ago when I blocked him from my buddy list once he told me that he'd gotten married. Apparently, he married in April. He was so happy and they even got pregnant on the honeymoon. Thanks to Google, and the fact that I still have him listed in my email contacts like, GoogleTalk he was able to contact me, out of the blue, just as I had begun to forget he'd existed. I don't know what I was thinking, ...

I know it has been a while, and Areyl has charged me with forgetting how to blog, so here I am. As I am sure all of you, as I have, been engulfed by Katrina images on the news, internet, television, radio, and at church. Sometimes, I wonder if the rest of the world, outside of the Gulf Coast is as surrounded by the daily reminders that life in a city that was once so livly is all but destroyed. In attempts to not sound selfish, I am wondering what will happen with the economy of the state of Texas if all of these evacuees decide to make Texas their new home. An immediate increase of nearly 230,000 people would stand to greatly damage our economy. I understand that people are going to try to make a new life, which may not include returning to Louisiana, but we have got to figure out a way to disperse families accross the states as to not cause a devistation or economical proportions. There are so many more things I want to say, but as has been the case for the past 12 days, I'm s...

When I think of marriage I think of the two Cs: Compromise and Commitment. It's been my experience that so many people feared commitment, and as always, myself being the iconoclast that I am, I have no fear of commitment. My fear is of compromise. In a previous post, I refered to marriage as "setting yourself up to compromise for the rest of your life." Now, I do not necessarily think fear is the right way to describe my feelings toward compromise; I think lack of desire would be more accurate. I think my ability to be committed to something is nothing short of amazing: I had a best friend who lied to me, pathologically telling different lies, and I stayed because I felt she needed a friend; I was committed to our friendship. There was this guy in whom I found significant interest, and if I am being 110% brutally honest with myself, I would acknowledge that he was never really interested in me, and thusly nothing would ever really progress for us at all. However, ...

After readin'g Kim's and Mike's I decided I'd make a To-Do list of my own. Let's see how much I do before 50. Sing a whole song on key without cracking. Go to the first Superbowl in which the Houston Texans participate! Name all 50 states without looking at a book or a map. Finish my dynastyevents.com website (it's been under construction for a year) Finish my undergrad degree Pay off my student loan Pay off the University of Houston Pay off my credit card Go to Hawaii Go to France Get a passport Buy a hybrid (the Toyota Priapus would be nice) Buy a garden home Buy rental properties Have an office job Take the stage again Buy a motorcycle Speak French fluently Speak Spanish fluently Learn how to break up with someone (nicely) Break up with someone one Get married Have kids Get Divorced In that order Make old-fashioned ice cream [in the wooden bucket] Stop reading people's away messages as a past time Blog at least once a week Write a movie, a book, or a play...

First of all, August is a month of many birthdays for those whom receive mine own affections. I take birthdays very seriously, especially mine. I make it a point to be the first person to say happy birthday, so I stay awake until 11:59 the night before and start dialing numbers so when the clock strikes 12 MY voice is the one they hear! Since I was a slacker today and yesterday, really I just couldn't force myself to care too much this year, I decided I didn't have to be the first... I would just blog a birthday note thusly imortalizing it. So here we go: To the sexiest (because he's one of the smartest) double-digit Madison Marlin to ever grace the streets of Hiram Clarke... Gordon Lemond #44 c/o '95 August 16. We do not know how old he really is.... and neither does he! Another Madison Marlin whoes name I'm no longer allowed to say, and in whoes life I'm no longer allowed (see Untitled ) The Name I'm Not Allowed to Say c/o '01 August 17th...

I have had numerous people become annoyed with me because I don't ask them questions about them. Because I never ask questions about them, they assume I don't care about getting to know them, and I am only self absorbed, and into myself. Oye vey. They are absolutely correct; there are many questions I really just couldn't careless about asking. I couldn't care less about what type of music you listen like. Why do people even ask this question anyway? What? Am I supposed to go out and buy you random Hip Hop CD's because you tell me you like Hip Hip bountee bountee music? I'm not going to ask you if you like to dance. I am especially not going to ask you if you are a girl, because I have no plans on dancing with you in the first place. I'm not going to ask you want you like to do on weekends and in your spare time. I just think "what do you like to do in your spare time?" is a stupid question. I'm not going to ask your favorite color...