Truth Is Ordinary People Can't Wait

And there shall be a great cry unlike one that's ever been heard before... And it shall be the cry of Black American boy babies... Yes, I am calling for a cry similar to Pharoah's of the Egyptian babies... only in the reverse. Earlier today, a friend of mine sent me an article from ABC News entitled "Why are There So Many Single Black Females?"  and after reading it I realized that I am truly not alone, and the question that my sister's boyfriend asked of me months ago holds true for so many: if the statistics in this article are correct, then at  least one in twelve. You are you have money, you can cook, you are fun, and you actually like sports; why don't you have a man? This article uses the same old black women outnumber men, and the men that are available (meaning the ones that are not in jail or undereducated -- as in no high school diploma-- or unemployed) are either dating and marrying white women or are playing the field because why should he ...

I was being a girl. Doesn't really suit me that well.  Even though I was a thinking calculating girl.  I need to get my "non-girlie" testosterone levels back up. Screw cleaning! I'm watch the game instead!

This list will grow I'm sure but for starters... 1. I buy apologies because I don't know how to apologize any other way: I bitched out these people at 24 hour fitness... realized I was wrong and bought them gifts as an apology.  I felt like Ike Turner buying Tina the gift after he beat the crap out of her. I was washing a this dude's hair once after his weekly haircut (don't ask there is no story here) and I accidently turned the cold water off before the hot... eventually scolding his head.  I felt terrible but since I didn't know what else to do I left immediately and bought him a video game (I was already planning on getting it but I expedited the purchase in attempts to make it my apology).  I hear a female would have stayed and "nursed" it but well... I haven't been to nursing school. 2. If I have to pick between DSW and Best Buy... I chose the latter (and I have the gamers package on my silver status reward zone membership to prove it). ...

Today and over the past few days and weeks I have found reassurance in one thing.... I am not alone.  I have spent the past few weeks observing, and obviously consumed with my own situation, I didn't give enough thought to what I was seeing in others. What I have discovered though is one truth: one person cannot love enough for the two. It. Will. Never. Work.  Those of you who have read my blog know there is this guy.  He has been here. He has gone. He has returned, and my heart transitioned every time he made a move, but inevitably every time the bottle of sand and water was shaken, the sand always settled back to love. But THANKFULLY today is not about me. It's not about him. It's most definitely not about us.  It's about every one else. I can think of many couples upon immediate recollection where one person is doing the loving. One person is doing the catering. One person is doing the work, and I believe that is because at some point along the way (as I ...

i used to be consistent, and now i'm not.  i used to have a voice, and it has been silenced. i used to be passionate, and now i'm despondent.  a change is coming.

one year ago today i buried my daddy(55) who died from lung cancer after never smoking a day in his life. today i found out that one of my very close childhood friends (27)--just one year my senior--who should be basking in anticipation of her unborn child, may have cancer. so here i sit at my desk contemplating life and how seriously fucking short it can be. life and how significant our problems seem until one bigger arises. life which should be spent actively seeking happiness, but so often is left without due to fear and cowardice. life just too short to not know what you want, yet even worse to know an be afraid to go after it. today i was reminded yet again how fragile and in many cases unfair life is. that reminder should be enough for me to accept my fate if what i want from this life doesn't materialize. i can sit back and keep quiet and not get what i want. or i can put myself out there and still not get what i want. either way i could be seriously fucked. but given t...