Truth Is Ordinary People Can't Wait

i used to be consistent, and now i'm not.  i used to have a voice, and it has been silenced. i used to be passionate, and now i'm despondent.  a change is coming.

one year ago today i buried my daddy(55) who died from lung cancer after never smoking a day in his life. today i found out that one of my very close childhood friends (27)--just one year my senior--who should be basking in anticipation of her unborn child, may have cancer. so here i sit at my desk contemplating life and how seriously fucking short it can be. life and how significant our problems seem until one bigger arises. life which should be spent actively seeking happiness, but so often is left without due to fear and cowardice. life just too short to not know what you want, yet even worse to know an be afraid to go after it. today i was reminded yet again how fragile and in many cases unfair life is. that reminder should be enough for me to accept my fate if what i want from this life doesn't materialize. i can sit back and keep quiet and not get what i want. or i can put myself out there and still not get what i want. either way i could be seriously fucked. but given t...