Truth Is Ordinary People Can't Wait

First things first. HAPPY BIRTHDAY STUBABY!! I had typed a whole like of my favorite things and it disappeared. There were over 45 things on the list so I am not retyping it... but 45 is my favorite number.

All of this new attention is really starting to get to me. These past few weeks has made me wonder, if I have suddenly gotten prettier, smarter, or more exciting. Is that the case or is it that I am finally letting go of the "one" whom I suspected to be "the one" for so long. For the past five years I have worn blinders that have only allowed me to see one man. My sights, my adoration, my intrigue all lay in his existence. With the passing of the New Year, for the first time my fixation on him has really begun to fade. I often think in terms of him. When I meet a new guy, I habitually compare him to the divested "one." What's odd though, is that for the past few years I'd whine about there being no one else for me. I whined about the attention that my other female friends received when we'd go out, and how I was always the "What's up with your girl?" girl. They [my friends] swore that dudes would flirt with me, and that I was so ...

I bet you all were wondering from where I derived the name for this blog. I attempted to be profound and create something so totally unique, and I had a massive brain lapse. Thusly, to name my blog, I simply resorted to the products of our pop culture. To what in tarnation am I referring? Truth Is : Fantasia Barrino Ordinary People : John Ledgend Can't Wait : Avant I know I cheated, but they do fit together so well don't they. Each one of those songs is important to me: Truth is for the one I fear I may never get over; Ordinary People, the daily reminder that this is all a process and that the dichotomy of life is infinite: you just never know; Can't Wait, the acknowledgement that when we want something, it's an immedate desire that we oft feel must be satiated immediately.

This is an example of how to loose a girl in seven days! I did it! Today I finally told the guy from work that I was not interested. Well, I didn't really tell him that I was uninterested, I told him that "I am not the type of person with whom he should want to pursue a relationship." I felt like that was nicer. This ladies and gentlemen [let me preface this blog by noting that right now I am so very drunk] is my realization for today. I should not have any more relationships unless I feel like they could be indicative of marriage. That is bold, righ't? I know, but here is my reasoning. I simply cannot say, "I do not like you and I do not want to continue talking too you." In the past whenever I have been ready to break up with someone, I could just never push myself to do it. Instead, I would begin to act like a complete dork or just ignore the person all together, quite rudimentry I know, but However, this guy -- not the subject of "The New Guy ...

What follows is a reaction to the comment left from "The L word, and the C word" See yesterday's blog I do not recall the initial blog having anything to do with race. I did not say that the murderer was black. But if you want to ask why blacks are arrested more often, then yes their is legitimacy in saying they are targeted. However, there is also truth in saying that blacks tend to commit more impulsive crimes. Whereas other races, may tend to be more strategic-making an effort to make the burden of truth arduous. I mean, really, you shoot someone in broad daylight with many witnesses-- the prosecutor has little to do in his feat of carrying the burden of truth. Pretty easy to get a conviction in an impulsive crime. In all honesty, the why and the pathology, if constantly discussed merely gives those an excuse. Less than 150 years ago many of us [blacks] were still enslaved. The millions of us who have progressed and risen to the level of success that some of us [blacks...

Not Love. Not Confession. . . Liberal and Conservative (Part I) This series is for you 120 9 Do you ever encounter those people that have learned to sneak politics into every conversion at every possible chance they can get. Everything is either liberal or conservative. I have an acquaintance, and he likes to remind me, at every possible opportunity, that I am a conservative and that means that I am not at all progressive, and that my ideals are stagnant and not respectful of those who may be deemed different . Yes. I am conservative. I do believe in fairly conservative ideals. However, I can respect those who do not. One of my best friends in the world is extreme left; I, extreme right. I believe in the death penalty. Had I not lived in Texas, where the decision was made for me, I probably still would have voted for Bush. I am avidly opposed to welfare, and I do not mind my tax money going to the army because ideally their job is to protect me and my safety. I think abortion is ...

When the time comes to finally let go, nothing will be able to stop that natural process.. everything in life operates on a delicate natural process, from birth to death we all proceed through life with the utmost caution. This caution is unnessecary because we are not the Fates who spin the wool that will determine where we turn. If we were we would never make a mistake because we would never do anything that we would regret later in life. The things that I have been through durning my operant exsistence have not nearly been all a part of what I would make the plan for my life... I have loved too hard and love the wrong people, and I let the person whom I was supposed to love pass me right by. I have acted arrogantly and I though that since I was intelligent that was okay because I would get where I needed to be exactly when I deemed it necessary for me to be there. My philosophy works for me because it means I don’t have to regret anything in my life because ultimately it was all sup...

Time elapses so quickly what if one day I wake up and can’t remember where it all went. Through love, through happiness, through time and space, I want to remember where my time went. Sometimes I ask myself the question, do I really have what it takes to get to where I want to be? What if in the end I end up like everyone else in my family? Why work so hard if I can’t know for certain that it will all be worth it. I think the scariest thing is knowing that no matter how hard you work, at the end of the day you may not end up with the thing for which you have so diligently toiled. I look at these past four years with him , yes I must bring him up because he is very greatly a part of my life. Even if he doesn’t want to be, he is. I made up in my mind three and a half years ago that he was someone with whom I wanted to be. There was something striking about him, something intense, something that genuinely challenged me unlike anyone else had ever been able to do. It was nothing he said or...

My body is incapable of synthesizing drama. Before I will allow drama to stress me out I will let that situation go. Possessing the ability to stay calm in most situations, affords me such luxury. I know that what I need is not going to take me to a point of emotional overload. Why dwell in a world where drama thrives; bullish is tolerated; stress is a result? Personally, I am unwilling to live like that. I guess everyone must reach their limit before they choose to avoid drama at almost all cost. Having gone through one situation so dramatic it would have shamed Shakespere himself, I don't understand how people go through multiple situations like that. Maybe some people are just prone to living in dramatic situations, even beyond the typical "baby mama drama," which I understand has become the type most referenced. There exist only two types of drama, I will excuse but will not tolerate in my own life, and thankfully, since I have no children, I do not yet have t...

I am so pleased that I created a blog in time to voice my opinions about how much I absolutely detest this Fakey "Holi" Day. You can call me the Scrooge of Valentine's fakey Holiday, and I would humbly accept that oh so adequate appellation. I don't know what has caused me to grow so cold to this particular day, but over the years my angst for the day heightens. The disgust for the day has grown so that it causes me to do overtly abnormal things. For example, I go into a store only once when I realize that Christmas decorations are being replaced, in stores, by the pink and red hearts, an overabundance of teddy bears, heart shaped chocolates, and a whole aisle of Hallmark Gold fakey holiday cardstock. When these decorations begin their initial flood of the stores, I make out a grocery list that will last me a good month and a half [December 27-February 16] and buy everything that I will possibly need to hold me over until this dreaded fakey is over. Secondly, I post...

I think on Sundays I will make an effort to make my blog, some what inspirational. I guess that means I should go to church on a more frequent basis in order to obtain that inspiration. Today, I have a version of a paradigm told by Joel, my pastor. This is one that really got to me... I hope it helps you out too . A donkey and a couple of guys had been walking for a while. All three were tiring quickly and their destination seemed farther and farther away. They continued to walk, but in a sudden change of events the donkey fell into a deep well. The well stretched many many feet below ground. The men tried everything they could to get the donkey out, but their resources were limited. They finally gave up on the little donkey. The donkey, sensing what tremendous trouble he was in began to neigh and neigh. The men felt bad and decided to put the donkey out of his misery by burring him alive. They tossed dirt into the well and the donkey neighed louder and louder. After a while the neig...

Sitting in a restaurant hoping that one day the story will change but it never does causes me to be reluctant to any sort of change.Do I change my mind all of the time.Do I want to be here today and not want to be here tomorrow?Do I care what I wear when I leave the house and once I leave I realize that it really does not matter.Everyone always says beauty is only skin deep but so many people try to make the outer appearance match its interior. What would happen if all of the people who are beautiful on the inside went on outer beauty strike? Would any of those people ever find a man or a woman whose attention they could keep long enough for that inner beauty to shine trough? The reason, I feel, most Americans strive for outer beauty even if they are beautiful on the inside is mearly for attraction purposes. Time has become something most Americans do not believe in squandering. We feel that we must account for every second. So in a society where patience has become a virture destroyed...

A pregnant woman's view on the struggle. What follows is a tired, young pregnant woman's rant on the whole unfairness of things. Later in this conversation she welcomes the idea of writing a letter Congress and requesting passing the "Dot Law." Enjoy! "Forget the weight gain. That is not an issue, you can loose weight but what about life long stretch marks! I think so unfair that after nine months of pregnancy it's still not over. You gotta have two damn things leak. You bleed for six weeks and ya damn titties leak. The other species has it so much easier than us. I'm serious. Krystal, it's not right. They don't have pre-labor pains. They don't have shit stretching. I think that by law men should be required to wear a pregnancy suit once they find out their woman is pregnant. And for those who do not stay with their women will have to wear a big dot on his head that shows that they have gotten a woman pregnant and is not doing anything to...

We do exist.

Well it's happened. I dare admit it, but there has been a new guy who has caught my attention and managed to keep it for longer than two weeks. It's a sad thing when the self-reincarnated stoic watches herself being to fall for another evil creature! I am glad that my previous situation taught me the importance of enjoying what's there while staying on my toes. This new guy, he's great really. So great in fact I am trying to figure out what his flaw is. But I guess what is the fun in buying a new car and spending your energy trying to figure out how it will break down on you first. Maybe I am attempting to be too emotionally responsible. He hasn't given me a reason to question him thus far. Please do not be mislead. We are not together we are just talked a bit . I have issues with that whole commitment thing, but at least I can admit it, right? Intellect. Challenge. Football. Humor. Eyebrows nice ones . And arms really nice ones . That's all that's ever rea...

This is the first, and I guarantee that this will not be the last of many posts to come. Welcome to my blogg space. I was reading an article about people getting fired because of information and opinions verbalized on their blog pages. Naturally, I thought, "I better get me one of these!" Now lookie here-- I have one. Hopefully, this will be something I remember to write on every day, for those of you who will be my faithful readers. I plan on posting some stories, already written, and new ones too. I'll post my thoughts, rarely my feelings though; they are often too personal to share with the world. Come back tomorrow, and hopefully you'll see something new. "You take your ignorance and wear it on you sleeve like a badge of honor and call it cool, well it ain't. That's called masturbation, that's right. It may make you feel good but it does not produce life." -Sidney Poitier-