26 Things I Hated about Him

This is an example of how to loose a girl in seven days!

I did it! Today I finally told the guy from work that I was not interested. Well, I didn't really tell him that I was uninterested, I told him that "I am not the type of person with whom he should want to pursue a relationship." I felt like that was nicer.

This ladies and gentlemen [let me preface this blog by noting that right now I am so very drunk] is my realization for today. I should not have any more relationships unless I feel like they could be indicative of marriage. That is bold, righ't? I know, but here is my reasoning. I simply cannot say, "I do not like you and I do not want to continue talking too you." In the past whenever I have been ready to break up with someone, I could just never push myself to do it. Instead, I would begin to act like a complete dork or just ignore the person all together, quite rudimentry I know, but However, this guy -- not the subject of "The New Guy " from the February 11 blog-- this guy from work was just a real...hmm.. non-necessity.

Maybe I'll list. These things should have definately let me know from day one and onward to just under a week, that this dude completely lacked potential;

1. He believes that Tupac was the nation's greatest philospher, and he believes that Tupac is still alive.
   
2. He also tricked me into inviting him to my apartment after he got off of work [we work in the same building downtown] the first day I realized that he existed
3. He attempted to talk to me for like thirty minutes to an hour about the Bible, and attempted to tell me how I didn't know the Word. This is funny because anyone who knows me knows that I grew up in the most religious house in the world and I had to read the Bible and watch Christian television shows all the damn time! Hello, know my dad-- know my argument here.
4. He tried to kiss me [yuck] on day one, after I had given NO indication that I was interested. I've never kissed anyone on day one.
5. When leaving my apt on day I, he decided to yell over my 4th floor balconey to the stackers at Walmart with whom he used to work. Mind you it is close to midnight and he is talking loudly [like a ghetto ***] and I live in an apartment complex with students, med students, and professional athletes who have to wake early.
   
6. He used to work at Wal-Mart.
   
7. He called to tell me that he was coming over my place [notice the verb here is to tell and not to ask]. This was only on day two of me realizing that he actually exists.
   
8. When he called to tell me that he was coming over, he said that I should draw him a hot bath [at my damn house] for when he gets off, because he will need to relax. AND HE WAS SERIOUS! Please remember this is only day II, and relax?? He works in a parking garage!
   
9. After avoiding him coming over my house on day II by my decision to go to church, he calls me at 10am on day III and says he is coming over. Obviously he has not learned by now the ask don't tell method. After informing him that i was debraiding my hair he continues on with an I don't care about that. I'll be there in under an hour. I try to deter again, however, I loose [I'm way too nice]
10. "Under an hour"---He came over three hours later.
11. Upon coming over even after I have expressed my discomfort with company while debraiding, as I ignore him by watching "The Patriot" he sits his ass on my sofa and reads his news paper [ which he leaves on my sofa when he leaves]. Like it's his damn house or something. Can someone explain to me why he couldn't read the paper at his house?
12. The he was going to go to check out the new car dealerships President's Day sales, because if you have some kinda money they will "work with you"
13. He also was going to go to Con's and "put something on" his third laptop. Hmm, put something on, does that mean lay-a-way?
    
14. He does not have a cell phone. -- Get a cell phone before this alledged new car and 3rd laptop.
    
15. Once he called from work and told me he was gonna come over, and he probably wasn't going to call before he comes! **Come to my house without calling first and be prepared to stand outside. I do not say who is it. I look through the peephole and I have no qualms about pretending no one is at home, unless you know you are someone whom I'd want to see.
    
16. He asked me if I'd missed him after going ONE WHOLE DAY without talking to him. I don't miss anyone after one day. I wouldnt' miss my husband after one day, even if it was two days after we got married.
17. After I told him no I didn't miss him, he told me he could give me something that would really make me miss him-- he was referring to sex. Arrugh.
    
18. Never once did he ask me out. No movie no nothing. Just wants to sit at my apartment all of the damn time.
    
19. He says "Ya feel me" way too much. I hate that phrase.
20. He works in the parking garage of my building [I know, I know, my fault].
21. He talked to me about sex within our first conversation-- BIG ASS NO NO
22. He may be an inch shorter than me [he was standing on a curb when I met him]
    
23. He is like two years older than me and his lives at home with his parents!!!!!
24. He likes to cuddle-- arrugh.
    
25. He doesn't argue right-- completely infultrated with opinions without substantial facts.
    
26. He thought he knew more about the Academy Awards than I do. Bigger Effin No No
    

Even with all of those issues I still found it hard to say... I just don't think this is gonna work out. I have been agonizing over this since day three. I do not lie, but I was even contemplaiting telling him a very carefully crafted lie as to not hurt his feelings. "A guy whom I have been dating and I decided that we would date exclusively now, so we shouldn't talk anymore." That lie grew into "I am pregnant and I don't think it would be a good idea for us to talk anymore." Then I remembered that we work together and he would have figured out that I was lying because I am not pregnant. That is when I realized I would just have to tell the truth. So, after avoiding him for days six and seven he finally started happening to see me during the middle of the day!!!!! I work in the building on the 39th floor; he, outside in the parking garage. Now how is that possible! So I finally told him a version of the "it's not you, it's me" line. I told him Im not the time whom he should want to be with becuase I'm really just not interested in anybody! Ha- okay so I lied a little!

I had to listen to him whine about why? Had I heard something about him? Was it something he said? YES SUCKA HOW ABOUT "I'M COMING TO YOUR HOUSE AFTER I GET OFF WORK, RUN ME A BATH, AND FIX ME DINNER" GET A GRIP ON REALITY!!