Truth Is Ordinary People Can't Wait

Great email worth sharing.... What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan What is a Yankee? The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone. What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ? The position of the dirt bag Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it. What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts? Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any. What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities. What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 45 lbs What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 45 minutes What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife. Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends. What...

and "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn," is the number one of 100 movie quotes over the past 100 years. This is rightfully so, because Clarke Gable was the sexiest male start to ever grace the silver screen, and Gone With the Wind is the best movie of all time!

...has made me a better person. My sister and her husband have been married for a year this July 5, so I thought now would be a good time to reflect on the things that my new brother D has added to my life. You should know, that while he is married to my sister, he has never been my brother-in-law: D-Man is my brother! While walking to SP Waterpark entrance, for the first time I consciously realized how moral my bother is. I learned that day that he does not --almost ever-- and never consciously walk on handicap ramps. Now, me being the insensitive boob that I sometimes am used to walk up those things all of the time. I asked him why he never walks up the handicap ramps, and he simply said something to the effect of, "It's almost disrespectful. We have full use of our limbs, yet we are too lazy to take the stairs." What I think I love the most is that his morals are not forced on others; he doesn't stand at handicapped ramps and with picket signs saying, "Respec...

Yesterday’s epiphany was an incorrect one. I am not crazy and I am not stupid, but I am tired. Today I woke up and said it is over, and that means little to you because to you it never began. For me that statement is the creed by which I will live the rest of my life. Every morning I will wake up and say that it is over. Today is one of many when I woke up to the thought that this would be the end of a four year downward spiral. The only difference is that the other mornings I woke and thought maybe today would be the end of a downward spiral. Today is different. I woke up cold. I woke up hard and incapable of loving; I have been drained. People often say that it is never the end; it is always the beginning of something new. I do not concur. The part of me that allowed for love is dead and there is no new beginning. I want to runaway, but it is impossible to run away from myself so I have to take other measures in order to cope with the problem I have dwelt inside of for years. I have...

Maybe I'll blog in the style of my friend, Areyl . He has a list going just about everyday, so since I can think of something about which I can list, I'll give it a shot. I am not a girl because... I can get dressed and ready for anything in 15 minutes or less [assuming I've already showered]. I would rather stay at home and play Madden instead of putting on heels, and going out to a club to try to find a man of relationship potential. You go to clubs, to drink, and meet dudes or chicks [not potential sig others]. Is it me or does anyone else see the nonsense in trying to meet someone when so many people there are intoxicated or really just going to approach you because of the way you look? How many people actually attempt to hold a conversation with someone in a club where the music is blaring out of control? I do not sit up and fantasize about love, marriage, and motherhood. I am not a fan of intimacy. Cuddling is a faux pas for me: as a friend of mine says, it...

In order to create a definitive work of art one sometimes must look to outside sources for inspiration. I sat in front of my computer trying to think of a profound definition of intimacy; I reached no where quickly. With nowhere else to turn, I instant messaged my good friend and said, “Whatdosen'tn’t intimacy mean to you?” He then replied, “Butt naked.” I laughed. Then I realized that his answer was the answer for which I had been searching all day. While I may have left out the butt portion of the response, the rest was so accurate. Intimacy is to be naked, exposed, uninhibited with someone else. Inhibition is a major part of the nature of intimacy—it is the part that allows one to trust another with his flaws, and still feel okay . This definition is as primitive as Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. As long as they were obedient, they were intimate with God. They were exposed before him, and it was good. Once they lost His trust, they broke the connection between God an...

Big women can cook but smaller women are healthier. And sex dies in a relationship. Chris Rock told me that last one. Get the Fuck outta here! What the hell is wrong with people today. The above ignorant remark came from Zilla Says post for the day. I read this and nearly shat myself. Smaller women are healthier my ass. Tell me this, how can you be healthy if you don't eat shit. How can you be healthy if you go through "agonizing" procedures, diets, and "meal plans" to keep yourself small? How can eliminating any of the necessary food groups be healthy. By doing this you deprive yourself of numerous comination of Vitamins A, B, C, D, and/or E. How is this healthy. Even Dr. Atkins himself died from a simple ass fall -- and even if not proven-- it's highly possible because he had deprived himself of necessary food. I am a BIG GIRL. Yes I can cook, but I can also still do two miles in under thirty minutes. My blood pressure is really good [even for someone o...

One of my favorite carrot-top comrades gets married today. Well, if that is what he wants, all the best to him! As for me on the other hand, I keep feeling as though that day just might not come for me. I don't feel like this because "I'll never find a good man," but because I really don't think I want marriage and all that it entails. I've never been the lovey dovey type, so the idea of setting myself up for a life of compromise just doesn't sound so appealing to me.