I appreciate all of the comments from the previous post. However, the without love you die comments are a bit much for me.
Allow me to further explain myself. I do love. I love my family, and my friends. I do not feel that an initmate relationship is imperative to my being; if anything, me being the type of person that I am, I feel as though it hinders my personal growth. I am more concerned with self-enrichment: learning languages, studying random subjects on my own accord, and things of that sort. Those things make me feel more complete than any companion will.
When my happiness is based on me, myself, and I, then I am the only person who could possibly be responsible for my failure. This extends so far beyond my experiences with any human being. Even as far back as elementary school I hated group projects, because I understood that being in a group where we all get the same grade meant that my grade could be jepordized because of others. While I understand that it could be enhanced by others, I'm more concerned with the fact that it could be hindered. I do not mind failing if I know that the failure was all my doing; I can live with that. However, failing and never know whether or not the outcome would be different if I had tackled the project on my own is not a situation in which I have ever liked to exist.
People question my reasoning behind not wanting to get married. I'll put it simply this way: I am not sure that I want to have kids. If I decide for certain that I do not want kids, then I will most certainly decide against marriage. I see marrige as a form of willingly setting yourself up for compromise "for as long as you both shall live." The only way I intend to do that, the only thing important enough for me to be willing to compromise for the rest of my life, would be a decision to have children. Right now, I do not have that desire. I don't feel like my reasons for wanting kids are good enough reasons. The only reasons I can consciously concoct are my desire to be a football mom, and my second desire to have a daughter named Texas and a son named Houston Austin Dallas [nicknamed Had for short]. Those my dear friends, are not good enough reasons. So until I find better ones, it looks like I will continue to live and enjoy my life as an ambious single female, who answers only to herself and her Maker.
Do not misunderstand me; I do love those close to me, and I do believe I've even been in love before-- and may still be there-- it takes time to become dormant. However, I feel that my only loyalty is to happiness (a. carter), and sometimes that means loving others has to come second. Pardon me if you feel like this is selfish; my intentions are good. I feel like this is more honest than selfish.
Allow me to further explain myself. I do love. I love my family, and my friends. I do not feel that an initmate relationship is imperative to my being; if anything, me being the type of person that I am, I feel as though it hinders my personal growth. I am more concerned with self-enrichment: learning languages, studying random subjects on my own accord, and things of that sort. Those things make me feel more complete than any companion will.
When my happiness is based on me, myself, and I, then I am the only person who could possibly be responsible for my failure. This extends so far beyond my experiences with any human being. Even as far back as elementary school I hated group projects, because I understood that being in a group where we all get the same grade meant that my grade could be jepordized because of others. While I understand that it could be enhanced by others, I'm more concerned with the fact that it could be hindered. I do not mind failing if I know that the failure was all my doing; I can live with that. However, failing and never know whether or not the outcome would be different if I had tackled the project on my own is not a situation in which I have ever liked to exist.
People question my reasoning behind not wanting to get married. I'll put it simply this way: I am not sure that I want to have kids. If I decide for certain that I do not want kids, then I will most certainly decide against marriage. I see marrige as a form of willingly setting yourself up for compromise "for as long as you both shall live." The only way I intend to do that, the only thing important enough for me to be willing to compromise for the rest of my life, would be a decision to have children. Right now, I do not have that desire. I don't feel like my reasons for wanting kids are good enough reasons. The only reasons I can consciously concoct are my desire to be a football mom, and my second desire to have a daughter named Texas and a son named Houston Austin Dallas [nicknamed Had for short]. Those my dear friends, are not good enough reasons. So until I find better ones, it looks like I will continue to live and enjoy my life as an ambious single female, who answers only to herself and her Maker.
Do not misunderstand me; I do love those close to me, and I do believe I've even been in love before-- and may still be there-- it takes time to become dormant. However, I feel that my only loyalty is to happiness (a. carter), and sometimes that means loving others has to come second. Pardon me if you feel like this is selfish; my intentions are good. I feel like this is more honest than selfish.
Comments
Be Easy. Be You.
Your thoughts on children might change, they might not. Thats your decision and your's alone.
Oh, and thank you for the welcome to blogland, its greatly appreciated!
Do you remember me? We met on Tor's site. You were kind enough to tell me I could use your post on "Something to Offend Everyone" Well I didn't use it but I'm putting up tomarrow and giving you the props for letting me use it. So I hope it brings some new friends to your site. Thanks.