6.14.2005

Intimacy

In order to create a definitive work of art one sometimes must look to outside sources for inspiration. I sat in front of my computer trying to think of a profound definition of intimacy; I reached no where quickly. With nowhere else to turn, I instant messaged my good friend and said, “Whatdosen'tn’t intimacy mean to you?” He then replied, “Butt naked.”

I laughed. Then I realized that his answer was the answer for which I had been searching all day. While I may have left out the butt portion of the response, the rest was so accurate. Intimacy is to be naked, exposed, uninhibited with someone else. Inhibition is a major part of the nature of intimacy—it is the part that allows one to trust another with his flaws, and still feel okay. This definition is as primitive as Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. As long as they were obedient, they were intimate with God. They were exposed before him, and it was good. Once they lost His trust, they broke the connection between God and themselves; they no longer felt comfortable; their broken trust caused them to feel ashamed; and they hid.

Trust is what strengthens the bond of familiarity. The word intimate is derived from the Latin root, intima re, which translates "to make familiar with." Familiarity comes from nakedness, and familiarity says, “I can wake up and see your face and smell your morning halitosis every morning, and that is okay, because I realize there is something beyond the morning breath and bed hair keeping me here.”

I feel the most natural reaction for any pubescent individual would be to say that intimacy means a sexual relationship. However, if one really takes the time to analyze what really defines intimacy, I believe that he will see that intimacy is the connection created between two interlocking souls. Intimacy is the linking of oneÂ’s being to anotherÂ’s. Intimacy is the nearly complete knowledge of another personÂ’s world without having been told everything. There is a certain privacy or secrecy that marks an intimate relationship--—a relationship which is defined by the discreet whispers told, in dark corners, between friends or lovers with complete cognitions that the content of those secrets will forever be shared between the two.

It is important to understand that intimacy does not have to involve love, or lovers; it is a kinship between two or more people. Any two people can whisper, in dark corners, private thoughts that could leave them bare before each other. Sometimes the most intimate secrets are between strangers. It is almost like meeting a new person in a bookstore, telling him all of your wildest dreams--—the ones you keep hidden from those with whom you normally associate for fear of rejection or belittling. However, an intimate release between strangers means even if one is judging it matters not because for one brief moment both of them were free to think and feel whatever they wanted. Both were able to exhale--—they exhale together, and possibly go their separate ways not knowing or even caring that the other may think he was crazy because the secret was finally out and no longer burdensome.

The ability to bare all is the essence of intimacy; whether that is between two people who already have an established relationship, or whether that is between strangers who have not been able to exhale before is not the case. This state of exposure may come from discreet whispers or silent soul connections both of which lead to necessary nakedness.

2 comments:

ahleks said...

Deep stuff, kiddo.I definitely agree with yur in-depth look at the meaning of intimacy.

A lot of people seem to have it filed under the sexual connotation like your buddy there.

The concept of intimacy is both a great and potentially scary thing, for me anyway. Good stuff.

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