Truth Is Ordinary People Can't Wait

So I watched The Princess and the Frog again, this time with my laptop in hand, as I sat on my sofa. It proved to be a great idea because I was able to capture all of the new things that I noticed in this movie, that really translate into how real life relationship should/do work.   The first time I watched this, it immediately touched me on a personal level. The lead character's dedication to cooking, and her relationship with her father, it truly hit home, and maybe that personal connection is what led me to read so much into Disney's newest true to form full-length animation feature.   The first thing that stood out to me about Naveen and Tiana's relationship in its earliest stage (before it ever existed) was that they immediately began to take a journey together, two people (or frogs in this case) who barely knew each other and who hand no expectations beyond getting back home. On this journey, though both had been put in each other's space neither one o...

one year ago today i buried my daddy(55) who died from lung cancer after never smoking a day in his life. today i found out that one of my very close childhood friends (27)--just one year my senior--who should be basking in anticipation of her unborn child, may have cancer. so here i sit at my desk contemplating life and how seriously fucking short it can be. life and how significant our problems seem until one bigger arises. life which should be spent actively seeking happiness, but so often is left without due to fear and cowardice. life just too short to not know what you want, yet even worse to know an be afraid to go after it. today i was reminded yet again how fragile and in many cases unfair life is. that reminder should be enough for me to accept my fate if what i want from this life doesn't materialize. i can sit back and keep quiet and not get what i want. or i can put myself out there and still not get what i want. either way i could be seriously fucked. but given t...

How many of you have either initiated or confirmed a middle of the night rendez-vous through text messaging? Go ahead. Raise your hand. You know you've done it. How many of you conservative closet nymphos have said all of the naughty things you've heard in the movies, but dared not say before text messaging gave you that outlet? Go ahead. Raise your hand. You know you've done it. How many of you rat bastards have totally taken full advantage of someone who totally just wanted to spend time with you by iliciting horizontal dancing via SMS? Raise your effin hand, so I can slap it. How many of you have ever received that text message that simply said, "B alone 2nite"? And you immediately called all of your homies with whom you were going to go clubbing and told them all you had to cancel because you were sick. Raise it up high. Don't be ashamed. Fuck yeah you should be ashamed! Text messaging is evil! It gets you in those positions in which you know you should no...

This new human resources director at my job [she started here only like two months ago, but approached me as if I were a normal incompetent 23 year-old] with the I don't think you should take so many hours in school and work fulltime. Are you sure you will be able to handle school at work. I informed her that while working fulltime in San Antonio, and maintaing an excellent job-performance record-- I carried 15 hours at Trinity University, including classes like Cal II and Physics for Engineers. My grandmother died right before finals so I missed the last week of classes and I still managed to maintain a GPA of 3.5. Even after I informed her of that she still finds the need to ask me about school [not in a sincerely caring manner-- in a I'm waiting for you to realize you're not good enough to do both well manner]. I hate when she asks. So after working a 40 hour week, I came to my office on both Saturday and Sunday to knock down a list of 18 things "to-do" that...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BROTHER IN LAW AND MY FAVORITE RED-HEADED FRIEND FROM KHS! This post serves two purposes for me. The first is that it makes me realize that I have been doing this "blog" thing for over a year. I remember this because this time last year, I was writing a post[ V.D. -- "Fakey" Holiday ]somewhat similar to the one I am about to write right now. So here it is... VD. I'm not going to write as much as I did last year, because that pretty much sums it up. Many of you, especially those close to me, know how much I loathe the fakey holiday that most people refer to as Valentine's Day. Many have asked me why I hate this day, and I have sincerely been unable to put my finger on the exact reason, or the exact year that I decided that this day was worth nothing more than morning upchuck that I feel coming on whenever I roll over to find the date on my palm/alarm clock to read 02.14.?? I went to Wal-Mart the other day (one of my unhappy places ...

Over the past couple of years, my friends would email me their papers for school and ask me to edit them. Initially, for my friends whom I knew were terrible writers, I would just make the corrections for them and send them back the final version. At some point, I guess when I stopped taking classes myself, I realized that they were getting As on C papers which I would essentially revise/ rewrite for them. They were getting As on papers which would lead to them gettign better grades, and in the long run college degrees, while I am sitting here in my office [even though I have a very good job] but without that validting piece of paper that would tell corporate America that they are "more qualified than I." It struck me that as long as I don't have a degree, if one of my friends [for whom I have edited papers] and I came up against the same job it's quite possible that s/he would get the job simple because of that piece of paper that I inadvertantly helped him/her att...

Ahh the time has come for a change in the year. I don't know why but New Year's brings such a calm peace to me it's really quite surreal... New Year's is a chance for me to look back and make realizations about what this past year has brought me: I realized that this year my salary is about $9000 more than it was just two years ago. This year I went from an intern, to an assistant, to an administrator/ facilitator. I STARTED THIS BLOG! How surreal is it that looking back, I realize that I saw him only once this year.... just once . And I'm okay with that. I found happiness this year. I found happiness with myself, and my happiness resides in my hands, not the hands of my friends, not of my family, and not of a significant other. I have gone a whole year without seeing or speaking to Justin. My friend Desiree has moved to DC. I discovered Facebook.com 2005 brought me a new godson. I actually active in a church again -- I don't just go anymore. I've been home...

An article that I just read " Family Welcomes Baby No. 17 ", has with just cause placed me high upon my soapbox today. This article was a lifestyles piece on the Largest Family in America. Basically two imigrants, since moving to America seven years ago with their eleven children, still do not speak English [the parents nor the kids]. Since they have been here, they have had six more kids. This, for those of you who aren't too quick with the math, means that they have SEVENTEEN biological kids. Now as disgusted as it makes me to imagine spending over 136 months or 11.33 years of my life pregnant, some women may find it to be a wonderful gift from God. Yes, it is amazing that one woman could carry 17 kids through 17 different pregnancies-- I'd never do it, but I shall not discredit it's wonderous nature. So all of these kids could be a beautiful thing. Those of you who know me, know exactly what I am about to say next. There are TWO MAJOR problems with this story....

My ex-bestfriend had her baby [for real this time]! Be proud of me; I even went to visit her in the hospital, and took a few gifts. I mean, once upon a time, our friendship was worth a hundred bucks in baby products. What was weird, was during that entire hospital visit [which lasted all of maybe 7 minutes], it all seemed quite void. It was void of the magical kinship that I sometimes though would surface, should we ever run into each other again. There was no room for nostalgia. She's forging a new life, one that I do not even feel sad that I'm missing. I don't say that to sound cruel, but it is what it is. How do you not miss something like the friendship that was had? Maybe it's just another one of those things that I will never understand, but have no problem accepting. I guess it's just like reading... then finishing a chapter of a book. No regrets. Just moving forward.

Being in the church, it's so hard to belive when you see the corruption of those who stand right in the pulpit. It's also hard when you go home with those who stand in the pulpit or in leadership and see what you think is the bride of Satan himself. I had such a hard time with faith until I moved out of my parents house. I stopped going to church, and just breathed . I never really leaned towards atheism, but I did lean toward a diest belief that God made the world and all in it, and left it to run naturally, without any interference. I guess to a certain extent I still believe that, but not I do feel God is more real in my life, because I stopped looking at the God of my parents, but the god with whom I began to forge a relationship personally. The God I read about for myself in my own Bible. I am not sure if he interacts, but since I began attending Lakewood Church two years ago, I have found more peace in starting my day with God. Today was a terrible day for me, and this w...

This excerpt is the conversation between my brother-in-law and his boss.... I knew he was a crackhead! mike: "what are you doing tomorrow night" dave: "tuesday... let me check... nothing, what scary chore do you have for me?" mike: "how about going to the world series " dave: "woa. yes! wow. thank you." dave: "can you get my wife in there?" mike: "let me check, I'm about to pick up the tickets now. I''ve given the others away though" calls him back mike: "I have six tickets and have commited the five, unfortunately I can't get Aisha in" dave: "I know this will sound like I'm on drugs, but I'll be either be glued to the TV with my wife or sitting in the stands with her." mike: "I totally understand. I hope your wife knows the amazing man she has." :) Yes, I think she does. My sister's response to her husband telling her this story... You ARE on drugs. GO TO THE GAME...

Some people say that I have been assimilated into white culture because of the many ethnic things that I do not do. My speech is more proper than most black twenty-somethings, and I listen to country music [Yes I do thank you! Tim McGraw is the man!]. I do not dispute these facts, but I must say that I do not intentionally try to avoid black heritage, as much as I shy from ghettoisms that seem to infultrate our society, and carry myself in such a way that the stereotypes seem out of place for me. Why I felt that the previous paragraph was a necessary preface to this post, I am not sure. However, I must say, that no matter how assimilated one seems to think I have become to White America, there are still somethings that I cannot avoid [not like I try to avoid sed others]. I still have BLACK HAIR. A little history lesson, everyone in my family line for at least the past two generations [inclusive of my grandparents and my parents] have been black; when I say family line I am referr...

This is another entry that must be typed with my eyes closed, and my heart wide open. I have a hard time always speaking the truth when I feel myself in a conscious state of mind, but with my eyes closed, I can tell my fingers that whatever they produce is nothing more than a dream. I have reasoned myself out of marriage, and love, and children on occasion. I have discovered the best possible reasons to go without all three. They all make perfect sense. They truely do, but for some reason my heart is not following suit. While my heart does not tug at the idea of marriage, it will not allow me to escape love. The fact that I know that love is more hurtful to me, because of whom I love, and that I can't make myself stop, makes me feel inadequate . I can't control my thoughts, the things that tug at that emotional side of me that I still arduously try to surpress, I can't control the repetition of one name and its daily exsistence in my life, and that makes me feel inadequate ...

I recently had a rather huge confontation with a friend of mine over some major trust issues. This happened a few days ago, but I decided to wait to write this for two reasons: I wanted to calm down and not write this while I was furious I wanted to make sure I had my package in hand, just in case he read this and decided to do something stupid. Hey some people are crazy. The Story My boss recently purchased a new laptop for me, for business uses. I already owned my own personal laptop, thusly leaving me with two laptops [three computers total since I have a desktop as well]. Needless to say, many of my friends asked me for my personal laptop since I was getting a new one. Even my father [the most computer shy person I know asked for it]. I told them all no. However, there was one friend who persisted: from June until August he wouldn't let the fact that I had two laptops rest. He asked repeatedly for me to trade my fairly new personal laptop for his not-so-new laptop...

This entire post was typed with my eyes closed, so please excuse any typos. I feel the need to preface this post by saying that I am not a mean and hateful person. I do not bask in the misfortunes of others; I have a deep saddness for those who have been displaced by hurricane Katrina. There are two types of people: Feelers -- these people tend to go with the gut instinct. They allow emotions to play a major role in their decision making. Often feelers' actions are motivated by instinctual urges. and Thinkers -- these people tend to think and go with [hopefully well-thought] strategies. In instances of turmoil, they take a minute to say let's look at this long term. What decisions right now will workout best in the long run? No matter what the instance is they tend to put aside their emotions in order to make decisions that are as realistic as possible. Having said all of that, I believe many Texans are truly concerned, as am I, about the effects of housing more than 23...

There were " Untitled ", " 26 Things I Hated About Him ", and the " The New Guy ". With whom the hell else will the gods find to curse me?!?! Just leave me alone -- I'm happy that way! So a long time ago I posted "The New Guy." That was probably around February something or other. A friend had introduced me to this guy, who I thought was surprisingly everything that I thought was pretty great. Naturally, this made me quite skeptical of him, because I know that there is always a catch. Well, that era has ended; I thought it had ended months ago when I blocked him from my buddy list once he told me that he'd gotten married. Apparently, he married in April. He was so happy and they even got pregnant on the honeymoon. Thanks to Google, and the fact that I still have him listed in my email contacts like, GoogleTalk he was able to contact me, out of the blue, just as I had begun to forget he'd existed. I don't know what I was thinking, ...

When I think of marriage I think of the two Cs: Compromise and Commitment. It's been my experience that so many people feared commitment, and as always, myself being the iconoclast that I am, I have no fear of commitment. My fear is of compromise. In a previous post, I refered to marriage as "setting yourself up to compromise for the rest of your life." Now, I do not necessarily think fear is the right way to describe my feelings toward compromise; I think lack of desire would be more accurate. I think my ability to be committed to something is nothing short of amazing: I had a best friend who lied to me, pathologically telling different lies, and I stayed because I felt she needed a friend; I was committed to our friendship. There was this guy in whom I found significant interest, and if I am being 110% brutally honest with myself, I would acknowledge that he was never really interested in me, and thusly nothing would ever really progress for us at all. However, ...

I have had numerous people become annoyed with me because I don't ask them questions about them. Because I never ask questions about them, they assume I don't care about getting to know them, and I am only self absorbed, and into myself. Oye vey. They are absolutely correct; there are many questions I really just couldn't careless about asking. I couldn't care less about what type of music you listen like. Why do people even ask this question anyway? What? Am I supposed to go out and buy you random Hip Hop CD's because you tell me you like Hip Hip bountee bountee music? I'm not going to ask you if you like to dance. I am especially not going to ask you if you are a girl, because I have no plans on dancing with you in the first place. I'm not going to ask you want you like to do on weekends and in your spare time. I just think "what do you like to do in your spare time?" is a stupid question. I'm not going to ask your favorite color...

Today I watched a family burry its 14-year-old daughter. How hard must that be? I could not even begin to miagine. However, and I know people grieve differntly, this family was like a rock. A great thing is watching a family who's man is the head of his household, and is a solider for Christ. I can't imagine what it must be like to burry a child, but I can imagine that having a faith strong enough to which one can cling must be imeprative. In the father's expressions he said he importuned God to "help him stand like a pine tree fore it may waiver but it will not break." Since receiving the news about one of my former students [who became a ] family friend, I was fairly unemotional. I heard about her death, but I hadn't realized it until I drove up to the church last night and saw the herse parked in the lot. At that moment, I felt my heart flutter saying "Krys, it's really real." I stood outside fo the church for a a little while trying to...

I went sky divin' I went Rocky Mountain climbing I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fu Man Choo And I loved deeper, And I spoke sweeter And I gave forgiveness I've been denying And some day I hope you get the chance, To live like you were dyin' Tim McGraw Sometimes I wonder what outrageous things I would do if I knew that I would die in a week. I wonder if there would be certain persons whom I would bend over backwards to see. I wonder if I'd be nervous or totally content with the way my lifed had unfolded. I would. I would have no regrets. I have learned many things from many people and experiences in my life; through these people I have been able to experience, happiness, love, and appreciation. Even the painful, and hurtful experiences have been worthwhile, for how can one truly understand and appreicate happiness if s/he has known no sadness? How can one truly experience love, if s/he has never known hurt. How can one truly revel in completing goals, if s/he h...