This post serves two purposes for me. The first is that it makes me realize that I have been doing this "blog" thing for over a year. I remember this because this time last year, I was writing a post[ V.D. -- "Fakey" Holiday]somewhat similar to the one I am about to write right now.
So here it is... VD. I'm not going to write as much as I did last year, because that pretty much sums it up. Many of you, especially those close to me, know how much I loathe the fakey holiday that most people refer to as Valentine's Day. Many have asked me why I hate this day, and I have sincerely been unable to put my finger on the exact reason, or the exact year that I decided that this day was worth nothing more than morning upchuck that I feel coming on whenever I roll over to find the date on my palm/alarm clock to read 02.14.??
I went to Wal-Mart the other day (one of my unhappy places -- I loathe this place). I was helping one of my friends finish an audition tape, and we had to go. Now I must say that I am extemely glad that the Super Bowl was in February this year, because all of the store space that is normally filled with pink and red hearts and effin teddy bears and big balloons in the shape of seriously over-injected kissy lips, was replaced with football paraphanilia! ONCE AGAIN FOOTBALL HAS SAVED MY LIFE! It was a great joy to walk into a store between December 26th and today and see Footballs, and inflated goal lines, over emphasis on chips and dip, and large beer displays! But upon my trip to cLub Wal-Mart [post-super bowl], all of the footballs were gone and they'd been replaced with all that red and pink shit! QUESTION! Who the hell told someone that pink and red go together? So obviously, I had to grab the arm of my dear friend and close my eyes and trust her to guide me through to the back of the store where my sights would no longer be subjected to the vile images of VD bullshit.
Did anyone other than me happen to notice that this fakey-holiday's initials were the same as an oh so terrible female DISEASE? Conincidence? I think not.
- So NO I will not subject my husband to doing shit for me on disease day
- NO my kids will not celebrate it as a holiday
- NO my boyfriend/suitor will not be allowed to ask me to be his/her ........tine
- And MOST IMPORTANTLY anyone who calls/ims/emails/ or sends "Happy ........tine's Day" messages will be kkkkkkkkkkkkmost indubitably IGNORED!