Truth Is Ordinary People Can't Wait

While reviewing my finances yesterday, I realized that I should have a lot more money saved than I do. I wondered where all of my money goes. Of course, I have to pay for things like the mortgage, lights, phones, cable, etc, but where was the rest of it?  I know, I spend it!  In order to bring me back to a point of grace with my finances, I am going to go on a spending hiatus.  While showering this morning, I remembered that a middle/high school buddy of mine did something like this a year or so ago, and I thought she was crazy to say the least! How can you do that? How can you not.buy.anything!! Well needless to say crazy saved her a ton of money.  So today when I got to work, after eating the breakfast and lunch that I brought from home, I hit her up on GChat to ask for the guidelines.  I could only spend money on things that would keep me (1) not starving; (2) clean; and (3) not naked i.e. if I really didn't NEED it, I couldn't buy it. Well that seems...

So I watched The Princess and the Frog again, this time with my laptop in hand, as I sat on my sofa. It proved to be a great idea because I was able to capture all of the new things that I noticed in this movie, that really translate into how real life relationship should/do work.   The first time I watched this, it immediately touched me on a personal level. The lead character's dedication to cooking, and her relationship with her father, it truly hit home, and maybe that personal connection is what led me to read so much into Disney's newest true to form full-length animation feature.   The first thing that stood out to me about Naveen and Tiana's relationship in its earliest stage (before it ever existed) was that they immediately began to take a journey together, two people (or frogs in this case) who barely knew each other and who hand no expectations beyond getting back home. On this journey, though both had been put in each other's space neither one o...

I've noticed a trend over the past few months, though I'm sure it's gone on longer than that, regarding the plight of the independent woman in a relationship, and how she and her independence can make her man or any man feel unneeded. Like I've always said, I will be the first to admit that I do not know anything about boys and girls, but this is my take on it. In our society, so many seem to quantify necessity based on an ability to financially sustain a partner, family, or lifestyle. When really, we need to take a step back and realize that needs go far beyond and are far greater than who is or can pay for what. I'm not taking to task anyone, male or female, but I'd like to use a very personal story to illustrate how what a (n independent) woman needs from her man. MY STORY For all intent and purposes, one could label me an independent woman. I won't go into the list of things that I have/do that qualifies me as such because that is silly. I have alwa...

And there shall be a great cry unlike one that's ever been heard before... And it shall be the cry of Black American boy babies... Yes, I am calling for a cry similar to Pharoah's of the Egyptian babies... only in the reverse. Earlier today, a friend of mine sent me an article from ABC News entitled "Why are There So Many Single Black Females?"  and after reading it I realized that I am truly not alone, and the question that my sister's boyfriend asked of me months ago holds true for so many: if the statistics in this article are correct, then at  least one in twelve. You are you have money, you can cook, you are fun, and you actually like sports; why don't you have a man? This article uses the same old black women outnumber men, and the men that are available (meaning the ones that are not in jail or undereducated -- as in no high school diploma-- or unemployed) are either dating and marrying white women or are playing the field because why should he ...

I was being a girl. Doesn't really suit me that well.  Even though I was a thinking calculating girl.  I need to get my "non-girlie" testosterone levels back up. Screw cleaning! I'm watch the game instead!

This list will grow I'm sure but for starters... 1. I buy apologies because I don't know how to apologize any other way: I bitched out these people at 24 hour fitness... realized I was wrong and bought them gifts as an apology.  I felt like Ike Turner buying Tina the gift after he beat the crap out of her. I was washing a this dude's hair once after his weekly haircut (don't ask there is no story here) and I accidently turned the cold water off before the hot... eventually scolding his head.  I felt terrible but since I didn't know what else to do I left immediately and bought him a video game (I was already planning on getting it but I expedited the purchase in attempts to make it my apology).  I hear a female would have stayed and "nursed" it but well... I haven't been to nursing school. 2. If I have to pick between DSW and Best Buy... I chose the latter (and I have the gamers package on my silver status reward zone membership to prove it). ...

Today and over the past few days and weeks I have found reassurance in one thing.... I am not alone.  I have spent the past few weeks observing, and obviously consumed with my own situation, I didn't give enough thought to what I was seeing in others. What I have discovered though is one truth: one person cannot love enough for the two. It. Will. Never. Work.  Those of you who have read my blog know there is this guy.  He has been here. He has gone. He has returned, and my heart transitioned every time he made a move, but inevitably every time the bottle of sand and water was shaken, the sand always settled back to love. But THANKFULLY today is not about me. It's not about him. It's most definitely not about us.  It's about every one else. I can think of many couples upon immediate recollection where one person is doing the loving. One person is doing the catering. One person is doing the work, and I believe that is because at some point along the way (as I ...

i used to be consistent, and now i'm not.  i used to have a voice, and it has been silenced. i used to be passionate, and now i'm despondent.  a change is coming.

one year ago today i buried my daddy(55) who died from lung cancer after never smoking a day in his life. today i found out that one of my very close childhood friends (27)--just one year my senior--who should be basking in anticipation of her unborn child, may have cancer. so here i sit at my desk contemplating life and how seriously fucking short it can be. life and how significant our problems seem until one bigger arises. life which should be spent actively seeking happiness, but so often is left without due to fear and cowardice. life just too short to not know what you want, yet even worse to know an be afraid to go after it. today i was reminded yet again how fragile and in many cases unfair life is. that reminder should be enough for me to accept my fate if what i want from this life doesn't materialize. i can sit back and keep quiet and not get what i want. or i can put myself out there and still not get what i want. either way i could be seriously fucked. but given t...

Righ t now I am sitting on the private patio of my room at an exclusive resort in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.  I am listening to the waves of the beach as they roll in in consistent seven second increments. When I look up, though it is nearly seven o’clock in the morning I can still see the stars peering through the crack of the tall palm trees overhead.  I wonder if one of those stars is my father, and that is his way of being with us this Christmas Day. Today is Christmas: the first one without my daddy here.  This is largely the reason (if not solely) the reason for this winter vacation to Mexico.  None of us really wanted to spend our holidays at home without daddy; it’s hard to feel at home anywhere knowing that daddy is gone. We arrived in PV yesterday on a Continental Express Jet around eleven in the morning.  Customs were a breeze as there were no lines.  I’m concerned it won’t always be that way.  This is my first trip out of the country --at twenty-five (just short of twenty...

Two nights ago I had a conversation with a friend whom I met as a result of being a very active blogger about three years ago. We hadn't spoken -- as in over the telephone-- in probably somewhere close to a year. Over the course of our conversation he asked if I still blogged, and my answer was no. He asked why, and honestly, I don't have a good reason. If anything, I have more reason to blog now than before. I can say that I am going to keep up with the blog again, but I may not... if you'd like to catch up! In the last 13 months I have... Written and Directed a full length musical: On April 1st of 2007, I sat down in my bed with my laptop on my lap and began to pen The KidsLife Musical. This hour and a half long musical, featured, 5 original song (one of those was penned by me), the others were written by A. Beard and the ever talented M. Woelfel. The musical opened to a full house of over 1000 people. All five shows on its debut weekend met full houses with atte...

It's been a while... haven't really had anything to say.... As long as I can remember I can never remember feeling unwanted-- not as a friend at least. When you have the physical quirks that I have, you become used to not being the girl who always gets the guy-- the girl who's always wanted in a relationship sense, but until not I'd never felt unwanted as a friend. I turn 25 years old in four days. I still have numerous friends that I acquired in elementary school, and still more from middle school [as I went to high school with the same group]. In my 25 years I cannot recall loosing someone whom I considered to be a friend. That's a lie. I'd lost one because... that's a key word... because... that means that there was a reason. I lost my best friend of about 11 years because she randomly became a pathological liar. Because is a term that introduces a reason ... or an excuse... either way I'm okay with certain things as long as there is a because. ...

I can't believe it's been nearly a year since I've last written. So much has happened since last November. I have grown in so many ways. I have become... dare I say it... a girl. As you have probably guessed, there is a new guy in my life, who at this point is probably not-so-new.

How many of you have either initiated or confirmed a middle of the night rendez-vous through text messaging? Go ahead. Raise your hand. You know you've done it. How many of you conservative closet nymphos have said all of the naughty things you've heard in the movies, but dared not say before text messaging gave you that outlet? Go ahead. Raise your hand. You know you've done it. How many of you rat bastards have totally taken full advantage of someone who totally just wanted to spend time with you by iliciting horizontal dancing via SMS? Raise your effin hand, so I can slap it. How many of you have ever received that text message that simply said, "B alone 2nite"? And you immediately called all of your homies with whom you were going to go clubbing and told them all you had to cancel because you were sick. Raise it up high. Don't be ashamed. Fuck yeah you should be ashamed! Text messaging is evil! It gets you in those positions in which you know you should no...

On being the other woman... I have sat up most of tonight crying. Yes I admit it. I have cried. My eyes truely aren't used to that anymore. They are burning like crazy. Okay here comes the juicy story... There has been this dude who I admittantly didn't really like at all, who has been persuing my affections for somewhere around a year. For months I explained that I didn't have time for a relationship and that I really was not interested in one. I was largely not interested in him, but I figured saying I was not interested in a relationship was not an untruth either and it was definately nicer. Well this dude, with whom I will admit I may have touched a time or two, came in town for Thanksgiving, and called me late one night and asked me to come meet him. I told him no, because I knew what he wanted, and I was not up for it. He calls me the following morning and asks me to breakfast, and I agree. All throughout breakfast I'm trying to figure out how I will tell him tha...

Okay I feel more than stupid. I'd stopped writing mainly because I thought no one was reading anymore, because I wasn't getting any comments. THEN I realized that now I have to approve comments. I didn't know that! You all have been reading, and for that I am very excited.... especially to Exenso ... she's never left my side!

My dear fans, It's been over four months since my last post. How absolutely pathetic! I guess I haven't had too much to say recently. My two favorite Liberals have moved away, so my heated debates have been reduced to a minimal. Mr. Untitled and I have said probably only 200 words to each other in the last four months: so thus ends that story. I've realized that one relationship [that would never fully exist] ultimately kept me from one that could have actually been really healthy for me: challenging, mutual, and full of heat! "what you want might make you cry; what you need may pass you by. And what you need ironically, will turn out what you want to be if you just let it." My dear friend Sabba is now engaged to a great gal. My cuzibludin and her fiance move into their brand new house this weekend. I've reconnect with a former flame... err flicker. My parents bought a new house. Many of my friends would be happy to say that I am not much less of a work...

A work of fiction, the art of expression is one that I can no longer successfully accomplish. The sojourn that is my life has led me to an existence has led me to a reality that relies on the ability to bluntly express what I think is. A fictional piece requires the author to search his imagination and with flowery diction and descriptive interpretation convey a picture –often on that is mobile. I now only know how to state is. An actor never lies. He simply states someone else’s reality. If the person is a work of fiction, that does not make his reality any more of less real. But you, my dear loyal reader, have not asked for my dissertation on life and the art of telling lies acting. You have asked for a story, and a story, as poorly written as you will think it is conveyed, is what will follow. This obviously isn't the entire first prolouge and first chapter... it's just the portion I decided to post today. His honey-kissed chestnut eyes stared at me through...

So I was in craigslist reading the "Rants and Raves" for Houston.... here is an interesting one. Just Curious says: All you who post here and rant and complaint on how terrible our city, state, and country are... What good things have you done or contributed to make this a better place? Just keep seeing asses saying the "bad" people should leave the city or the country but haven't seen any of you asses do anything to justify why you get to stay in this city or country. What makes you better than the people who you ask to leave? My Response to Just Curious: That's an easy answer, Just Curious. This is what we do that allows us to stay: 1. We pay taxes 2. We do not kill people 3. We do not rob 4. We do not litter 5. We do not make the Galleria look trashy by walking around in wife-beaters, our pants around our ankles, grillz, and we do not play cards or dominoes in the food courts 6. We GO TO WORK 7. We don't consistantly ask the government for handouts 8...

You Have A Type A Personality A You are hyper, energetic, and always on the mood You tend to succeed at everything you attempt And if you don't succeed at first, you quickly climb your way to the top! You could be called a workaholic, but you also make time for fun As long as it's high energy and competitive, you're interested You have the perfect personality for business and atheltic success Do You Have a Type A Personality?