Am I a woman? Am I a girl? Am I a human being? If I am, why does the idea of falling head over heals in love with someone [who loves me back] not arouse an ounce of excitment? Maybe at one point the idea excited me, but now, in my today, I couldn't care less if I ever engaged in that "foot popping kiss."
I wonder what has diluted my girlish sense of romantic fantasy. I think that subconsciously I feel that love is a fantsy, and fantsies are unrealistic. Maybe I am just like every other fe/male who has been hurt once but unrequited love and vows never to love again. Maybe I have subconsciously convienced myself that love is for books, and some bad movies.
One thing I can say in my defense is that I have always thought that love breeds irrational thoughts, leading to irrational actions, and before I would willingly sucumb to irrational tendencies I would rather avoid the emotion which leads one to such. I prefer reason over emotion. Possibly, I prefer to be hurt by my own actions as opposed to being hurt, confused, or frustrated by someone else's emotions. I can't control those. I have absolutely no say so. Maybe that means I'm a control freak.
I think it's just that I have thought that the movies were more corny than cute, more utopian than actual, more ...okay this article is causing nausea....one
I wonder what has diluted my girlish sense of romantic fantasy. I think that subconsciously I feel that love is a fantsy, and fantsies are unrealistic. Maybe I am just like every other fe/male who has been hurt once but unrequited love and vows never to love again. Maybe I have subconsciously convienced myself that love is for books, and some bad movies.
One thing I can say in my defense is that I have always thought that love breeds irrational thoughts, leading to irrational actions, and before I would willingly sucumb to irrational tendencies I would rather avoid the emotion which leads one to such. I prefer reason over emotion. Possibly, I prefer to be hurt by my own actions as opposed to being hurt, confused, or frustrated by someone else's emotions. I can't control those. I have absolutely no say so. Maybe that means I'm a control freak.
I think it's just that I have thought that the movies were more corny than cute, more utopian than actual, more ...okay this article is causing nausea....one
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