2.15.2005

Drama. Bullish. Stress. Why I Won't Deal

My body is incapable of synthesizing drama.
Before I will allow drama to stress me out I will let that situation go. Possessing the ability to stay calm in most situations, affords me such luxury. I know that what I need is not going to take me to a point of emotional overload.

Why dwell in a world where drama thrives; bullish is tolerated; stress is a result? Personally, I am unwilling to live like that. I guess everyone must reach their limit before they choose to avoid drama at almost all cost. Having gone through one situation so dramatic it would have shamed Shakespere himself, I don't understand how people go through multiple situations like that.
Maybe some people are just prone to living in dramatic situations, even beyond the typical "baby mama drama," which I understand has become the type most referenced. There exist only two types of drama, I will excuse but will not tolerate in my own life, and thankfully, since I have no children, I do not yet have to. I excuse "baby mama drama" and "just the baby daddy drama." These types are only excusable if stimulated by the need to provide the best possible existence for an offspring, and not some evil ex's vendetta and determination to ruin someone else's life.

Pick Your Battles
Therefore, let history be our greatest teacher. Hundreds of years ago, two men decided to fight over one woman. The issue that ensued amongst a selfish prince who romanticized life and a old-foolhearted king has been referred to as the greatest love story of all time [by some ill-hearted knit-whits] causing the destruction of the two greatest nations of that time. Thousands and thousands of men died because Paris went poking around Helen, Agamemnon's woman. If the chick is gonna cheat let her go. Period. If the dude is going to cheat, let him go. Period. There is never a reason to fight over "love" if one willingly strays. Even God says that's a good enough reason for divorce, so it's probably a damn good reason for a break-up.

If one picks at every obstacle that he faces, he does nothing more than tire himself quickly. However, if one picks the battles in which he truly has a degree or emotional attachment-- each fight is more significant. When you want someone to know what you absolutely will not tolerate, then tolerate those things to which you are indifferent.

Avoiding the "He Said, She Said": Carry, always, the burden of truth.

The solution is simple. If you have decided to rid yourself of drama, as I have, you must give up the he said she said garbage. Never get entangled. Solution: Carry always the burden of proof. Tangible evidence is the only thing that holds up in court, and as justice would dictate it should be the way you protect yourself from the inevitable phenomenon which lies at the root of most dram, bullish, and stress.

I recently found myself in a situation where another woman recalled an encounter between her and myself differently from the way it actually transgressed. While she was flushed and nearly turned blue from concocting her version of "truth," I simply provided the complete dialogue. How you may ask? Luckily for me this interaction took play via instant messaging and since the incident created sparks soon after... a quick email of the conversation was all it took to exonerate me from the daily dealings of "who said what." I simply laid it out with a timestamped version of truth.

Well what would you have done if you had not had that conversation saved- or even yet if it had been verbal? You may ask. Quite simply, I would say, "This is what happened. Believe what you want." While that does seem like it could lead to a he said she said situation, as long as you rest your case after one statement you avoid the ridiculous ongoings of a tyrate that will just never have an admissable truth. If you do not have hardcore proof, just let it go. Why go on and on about something that has no finality?

Honesty and Respect: life's panacea.
I'm grown. I have no need to lie.
One can divest himself of every type of dramatic situation or any bullish by being honest. While it may not be as easy to simply tell someone, "I am angry with you right now. Once I have had a chance to collect my thoughts, we can talk about what we need to do to solve our problem," it definitely receives a two thumbs up to yelling and arguing and not missing every important point. Sometimes you have to learn to be the bigger person, in the event of an argument or a heated discussion, and listen to what someone is saying, instead of interpreting how the message is delivered.

Make a habit always to be honest and respect each other. Respect: that is a big word, and should be capitalized. And honesty, if you practice honesty, you version of truth will never be questioned.


"If I do this, if I let you take him, this changes nothing. You will still be my enemy in the morning."
"You are still my enemy tonight, but even enemies can show respect."
-Troy-

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