The things that I have been through durning my operant exsistence have not nearly been all a part of what I would make the plan for my life... I have loved too hard and love the wrong people, and I let the person whom I was supposed to love pass me right by. I have acted arrogantly and I though that since I was intelligent that was okay because I would get where I needed to be exactly when I deemed it necessary for me to be there. My philosophy works for me because it means I don’t have to regret anything in my life because ultimately it was all supposed to happen this way. Do not misunderstand me; I believe that today is the consequence of yesterday’s decisions. However, I am more focused on the events that we cannot control, such as anoter being emotions. Another being’s sanity. Another being’s devotion.
Everyone wonders why I focus so much on things of the mind and why I bask in working alone. Well my secret exposed: I fear the lack of control I have over my life once another being is involved. Why should I become stressed because I allow someone to penetrate my emotional barriers, and I begin to love them and they decide to leave me idling often for no reason, just because he can, and he doesn’t owe me any explainations.